Sir:

The King’s army is advancing to Colnbrooke in Buckinghamshire. Expected arrival tomorrow. Charles p-p-p-plans to demand Windsor Castle be surrendered to him, as a Suitable location for his Rest and r-r-r-repose while p-p-p-peace negotiations are carried out (I understand emissaries from Parliament are due any hour)?

This demand is but (as the King put it) a d-d-d-dodge; he means to take London. And more importantly Rupert intends to plunder and sack Brentford, a day’s rise past Colnbrooke. Quoth Rupert, “By shreklichkite the Londoners and its many schismatical makers of hats and keepers of shops the will of this King will not Resisted be”. ” Shreklichkite means “fear” in the coarse German tongue. Today he gave a Lecture on where People are most likely to hide their Chests, and Plate and similar valuables (wainscoting, floorboards) and the most efficient means of Extracting secret locations (Start with shouted threats, break crockery, escalating to outright beatings and crushing of fingers).

Dear Sir,

Banbury surrendered to the King Yesterday, with its cannon (four or five) and arms; appx half its Garrison put themselves into the King’s Army; he has, thus, made Good on his Losses at Edgehill.

Rupert then called on the Estate of Lord Say, at Broughton. Rupert (as he put it) for the Cause of the King liberated some 100 load of corn, hay, and wheat; while his Troopers tore many books and writings in Lord Saye’s study into Pieces, or used them to Light their Pipes; mounted a Raid on the Park, and the Deer killed, but for a tame Stag, which was presented to Rupert, who pardoned the beast and Freed it (later revoked by the Troopers, who Consumed it). All trunks and chests broken open, linen carried away, as well as a Coach and eight good Horses. They Concluded by cutting open the Beds, releasing all the Feathers. In short, all the Mischief and spoil that Malice and Enmity could provoke such Savage mercenaries to commit.

Dear Mr Holyfen,

I write in haste. Yesterday I accompanied Rupert on a Scouting expedition, and we discovered the army of Essex strung out on the roads between Stratford-on-Avon and Kineton, with the van (and I assume Essex himself) approaching that Village (and I presume there now, and also presume sleeping). Rupert implored the King, in a Council at midnight, to join battle; and the King has called for a general Muster of his army (quartered in Wormleighton, Copredy, Ratley, a few other Towns I don’t recall) on top of Edgehill, a very high hill about two miles from Kineton, which offers a clear Prospect of the entire valley into which Essex’s army must needs march. It’s from top of this Noble Mount that I write, as the keeper of Rupert’s reknowned Dog. He and the King and the rest of his so-called Court, including the Earl of Lindsay, with an expression of utter aggravated Martyrdom, like a Papist Statue, are fifteen feet from me, squinting through glasses toward Kineton, from which the smoke of Cook-fires seems to be rising.

Mr Holyfen,

Attached please find a brief Elaboration on the divisions within the King’s army over the matter of command. This aside, those following him, which yesterday rallied at Meriden Heath. His Forces now have the appearance of an actual Army: recruitment to his Standard has been Steady, helped not merely by the aid of the Kingdom’s Papists (money and tenants) but concern over the recent actions of Parliament, to wit, that any who refuse the Forced Loans will be declared Delinquent, disarmed, and property seized.

The King today makes for Kenilworth; Rupert, for Berkswell. I have heard two Items that may be of great Significance (but may be but the idle chatter of bored, wet, weary, hungry men): first, that some Irishman, now with Essex, plans to shift his Allegience to the King at the moment battle is joined; second, that battle may be some time in coming (if at all): Essex having made another Petition to the King, to discuss terms of Peace before the armies come to blows clash.

Dear Sir,

We are marching toward Birmingham, there to rendezvous with the main part of the King's army. The intent -- as I understand the deep and mysterious Arts Military -- is to avoid the Parliament garrison at Castle Warwick, said to be a strong one (when the King's men paid it a visit in the Summer, the Commander met them on the Wall with a Bible in one hand, and his Shroud in the other, to display his Intent of Perishing before submitting to Tyranny and Popery) and attack Banbury, or perhaps bypass Banbury and march direct on London. Essex is near Worcester, according to scouts, spies, reports, and of course Guilliame of Normandy who though in Hell communicates through Boy. (That is a Joke.) The Dog and I have become great Friends, which means that Rupert, generally after supper and a pipe or two, is free with his ruminations on the King's Plans, and his criticisms thereof.

Mr Holyfen,

I greet you from near Shrewsbury, the camp of Prince Rupert and Boy, his notable Poodle, a literary Portrait of which, or whom, I have not Commenced, there being other items of greater Import, to wit:

First, tomorrow Rupert & his horse (appx 800 now by my count) plan to ride tomorrow in the direction of Wolverhampton, guarding the main body of the King's army, which intends to march toward London.

Second, there is Chatter, that the King, perennially cash-poor, plans to welcome Papists to his Camp, and secure their Funds through the sale of Titles and the like.

Point the second is necessary because a shipment of Munitions obtained in Holland by the Queen has been Sequestered in Dutch ports by the States of Holland; a separate Cargo, carried on two Ships, was surrendered by its own Sailors to Parliament; while a third Vessel was driven by Ill weather into Yarmouth and there seized by Parliament.

Dear Holyfen:

I see that Parliament, not content with declaring an unjust, illegal war on our anointed King, now seeks to subsidize its treachery through an unjust and illegal Imposition on the merchants of the City of London. I mean of course yesterday's order, demanding a Contribution toward the maintenance of the Earl of Essex's rabble, who it's my understanding are wreaking anarchy and terror on the long-suffering people of Northampton. The firm of Halpenny and Son was assessed the sum of fifteen hundred pounds.

Dear Sir,

I scribble in haste from Prince Rupert's camp north of Leicester. The King hath disarmed the Trained-Bands of Nottingham and is marching in the direction of Derby. Rupert (who advocates an immediate advance on London) to follow tomorrow. It's the understanding here in the Camp that once in Derby the King will bend toward Chester or Shrewsbury.

At least three thousands have gathered to the King in the past four days alone, near as I can determine chiefly from Yorkshire, Staffordshire, Lincolnshire; foot and horse, and more cannon and munitions from London. More are said to be enroute; the King expects large numbers from Wales and the Marches.

The King hath declared Rupert and the horse answers to him alone, that is not Captain-General the Earl of Lindsay, which hath brought great grief and annoyance to the latter as "contrary to all rules of military discipline." Rupert seen as an impetuous, blustering brat who had difficulties making himself clear in, and understanding, English.

Dear Sir,

Attached please find some prose on an engagement I had the honor of witnessing today. I would hesitate to describe it a great victory such as were won by Joshua or Caesar but ‘twas most pleasant to witness the malignant horse turning tail and scurrying away like mice after a few moments noise and confusion

Dear Mr Holyfen,

It's my great joy to report to you, sir, that myself and the nineteen other men employed by the Loomworks of Holyfen Village have after much wrestling with God, and many hours of discussion and debate, have elected to offer our services for the defense of the liberties of England and the freedom of the Gospel, to wit the troop of horse commanded by your uncle Capt Cromwell of Ely. Your brother Edmund is Lieutenant of this troop, and we are currently drilling and undertaking the study of the school of the cavalry in the country between Cambridge and Holyfen village.

Sir, we thank you for the great generosity you have shown us, and ask to be remembered in your prayers as we undertake this service.

I beg to remain your faithful servant,

Samuel Kilmister, Trooper, the Troop of Captain Cromwell

To Mr Sydney Holyfen, the Old House, near St John's Gate, London